After viewing the online pictures at the cortege of the late
EXOPA founder Ibrahim Sima. What stands clear was a lot of the folks had issues
fitting in. Well here are 7 tips to
guide you out of the maze when you find yourself at a Muslim friend funeral.
1.
CLOTHING
Wearing black or red isn’t a requirement neither isn’t
important. Any colour goes, just make sure is decent. If you are a lady, make
sure your legs are cover, boobs are not exposed at the top and if you really
want to blend in just cover your hair and please don’t use black scarf. If you
can avoid black in your dressing that will be cool. The use of black or red
easily gives you identity away. For guys, shirt, suit or whatever if you put
the fez you will go places and enter every congregation at the cortege with
ease.
2.
CRYING OUT LOUD
Please don’t go crying out loud exclaiming “I will go with
you”. You will quickly be kicked out of the place. If you can’t wail within
you, go somewhere far and doing it loud. Instances I have witness where women
couldn’t control the tears is when the body is being moved out of the house for
burial, Trust me they do it loud, even that effort is done to restrain them. You
can understand the pain.
3.
VIEWING OF THE BODY (PRAYERS)
After the “Gosul” (Religious burial bath) the whole body is
shrouded in white including the face. Friends and family are allow into the
room to say a prayer for the deceased. If they refuse you entry at that time,
don’t worry, there will be a chance for you to that.
When all is set, the body will brought out on the open street
for a special form of Salat. There is no bowing, no prostration, and no removal
of sandals.
You just stand and say
that salat with an Iman in front. The coffin will be open so you get the chance
to see the shrouded body.
Three short prayers are offered, and never mind if you can’t
speak Arabic, because the Imam will tell you what to say at each stage.
4.
AT THE CEMETARY
If you are a non-Muslim and you find yourself at a Muslim
cemetery or part of the congregation at the time of burial, don’t stand on
another grave in order to get a better view of the burial or step on any other
grave there. There are pathways within the graves walk between them and if you
can avoid conversation that will be much better.
5.
BURAIL GROUND
It is important to note that women are not allowed at the
burial ground, not even his mother or wife will be permitted there. So as lady
if you go and try to force your way through by means of your education and
sophistication you are not going to have it easy with the “zongo guys”.
However, after the burial when the Imam leaves the scene you can go there and
offer any prayer for the deceased.
6.
THREE (3) DAYS PERIOD OF MOURNING
Islam sets 3 days for mourning. Although after the 3 days you
can’t visit to express your condolences. But don’t get surprise when you visit
after 3 days and realize the household is going about with their normal
activities as if nothing had happen in that house.
7.
FOOD AND DRINKS
There is no giving of food and drinks at the funeral ground.
Rather it is friends, family, neighbours who are visiting days after that bring
or send food to them. So if you are visiting tomorrow or tomorrow next you can
go with some cook food for the bereaved family. Never make the mistake of going
there on an empty stomach and expect to get filled. You will end up walking
home empty stomach.
Keep these 7 tips in your archive or library and go through
them when you lose a Muslim friend and see how easy you will blend in with
them. To Ibrahim Sima -May Allah pardon him and enlighten his grave.
Asalamu alaikum (Peace be on you all)
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